Monogamy is fundamental for a perfect and blissful relationship. It’s a wonderful thing…when it works! My guy, please stay woke, because nothing in the world truly ever works like it’s supposed to. Case and point the current POTUS, Donald Trump. But don’t fret young one, we’re always here to offer you a chance to take the red pill, awaken from the Matrix and come into the real world. Aside from God’s initial creation, Adam, we doubt Man was initially designed to have one partner. More so the African man. I mean, come on, many wives was the way of life for our ancestors. Big up to King Mswati of Swaziland for keeping things going strong.
Anyway, I digress. The worst thing about having the side chick is most definitely the getting caught bit. Other than that it’s all groovy, bruv. Try one soon, if you haven’t already. We’re here today to try and show you how to effectively manage the side chick and all the possible scenarios that come with it. Let’s dive in then.
THE WIFEY OR MAIN SQUEEZE ALWAYS COMES FIRST
Dude, make sure this is clear from the jump. The main squeeze must get top priority. Never get pussy whipped or new panties confused into forgetting that you main chick’s needs should always come first. Be careful with the sides of today. They’ve become a very crafty and cunning being. It’s not enough just to let her know, you have to keep vigilant with it. The main chick is the one that maybe even washes your drawers and is possibly the one your kid or kids call mum. Always remember to give her that respect for putting her needs first and see how smooth things will work out for you.
YOUR SECRETS GO WITH YOU TO THE GRAVE
Deny, deny, deny. Not only the Kenyan way but the true man’s way. Under no scenario should a dude ever admit his infidelities. Even if you might have been dating a spy or a terrorist and she has resorted to waterboarding the shit out you, just stick with thinking of Shaggy’s song and keep with, “It wasn’t me.” If you can’t keep your secrets under lock and key then you don’t deserve the title of real man. Don’t act like a victim when you know you’re the one on the wrong. Embrace the villainy in what you’re doing. You’ll act and think much more clearly. If you can’t take the guilt, pressure, and stress of stepping out then just don’t do it. Save both you and your partner that agony and hurt.
NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT THE MAIN CHICK TO THE SIDE CHICK
We here firmly believe that when you have a problem with someone, go sort shit out with that person in particular instead of going to bitch around to other people. This is no different when it comes to your partner. When you start this behavior with your side chick, she’ll begin to take it as though you’re edging her on and want her to have the balls to replace wifey. If you ever let this situation occur, just know that all hell will break loose very soon after the fact. Don’t give the mistress more ammunition than she already has against the wifey.
ALWAYS SHOWER AFTER THE SIDE SHOW
This can sometimes be a severely detrimentally overlooked fact, but always take a shower after a romp with the side chick. More so if you’re going back to hang with the main squeeze. Broads are known to have heightened senses of smell. We know you might be those macho guys who feel it’s a drag having to shower after especially if you have to listen to her go on about her day, you could’ve stayed at home for that shit, but you have to wash her scent off, bruv. Alternatively, you could opt to buy her the same perfumes and cosmetics the main squeeze uses.
BEFORE YOU DO IT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE DOING
Last but not least, bruv, don’t make the rookie mistake of going in blind. Know exactly what you’re doing. Realizing that you might just ruin possibly one of the best things you’ve ever had in your life must come with sufficient premeditation. We’re hardwired to be selfish and want more, there’s no beef there. You can have your cake and eat it as well. Knowing the gravity in what you’re doing will help you handle it accordingly and give it the required mental attention.
And once again there you have it, my guy. Solid tips, this time around on how to manage the side chick. You always have got to keep it locked because we always here pushing you to open the third eye and no we’re not talking about those Illuminatinati folk and all. We just want another brother to see how we see.
Till next time, Deuces.