Today, we’re going to be talking a little, okay maybe a lot, about the douchebag. There’s a high chance you’ve seen, met or come across one. Heck, probably you, the one reading this is a douchebag deep. Anyway, he’s the guy that wears a polo shirt and keeps its collar popped, or the guy that loves showing off the “gun show”(and for those of you that may not have caught that, his muscles bruv). Basically, they’re the king of their world, and they usually really never care about what the rest of the world thinks.
As much as some of their traits tend to rub everyone around them the wrong way, one thing’s for certain, douchebags have one super awesome universal quality. They’re seriously dope self-promoters. No one will ever be a bigger fan to them than themselves, and that goes without question nor exception. Learning that and knowing how to use it to get what you want is what actually helps transcend it into being the art of the douchebag. This is the trait that makes them come off shameless, egotistical, and well…douchy, but my guy, you can’t blame the results.
Anyway, dude, you’ve heard this from us before, nice guys always finish last. As in, these broads just be hating on the douche but really, that’s exactly what they want. Okay maybe not exactly…EXACTLY, but something pretty goddamn close, you dig? I mean, who can help not loving someone that loves themselves abundantly. Someone that tries to promote their individual strengths, however small or big, without a care in the world is often times amazing. It’s not as easy as most people think it is.
Simply put, if you don’t like how your own shit smells, how the hell are you going to convince someone else to like it. Okay, maybe we could’ve used a less gross analogy but you get the point, no? Anyway, the art of the douchebag is, literally, learning how to promote the little or big things that make you as an individual a joy to your surrounding world, wherever that may be. Wear those strengths like an army badge and don’t let anyone put you off from flaunting them. Truth is, the world definitely needs more douchebags. Regular folk have just been taking everything too serious lately. The douchebag has a no stress vibe.
All in all, douchebaggery isn’t that bad at all. It got an old, hairless Republican into the US White House, jeez! If that’s not amazing in itself, then we don’t know what is. Anyway, Trump jokes aside, if you’re a douchebag, don’t be ashamed, we’re here and we got you. If you’re not, start learning a few of the things that make them great. Learn them well and it will always do less harm than good.
And with that, we out fam, peace.