The Beard Gang

beard gang, beard, guy

Does having a beard really change anything when it comes to how broads perceive you? Dude…it most certainly does. As in the beard gang is ruling bruv, and if anyone tells you any different then that person is straight up Lucifer because they’re the master of lies. The beard can make one go from looking like a nerdy 15 year old virgin to the Wolverine, in the blink of an eye. Of course minus the enormous pecks and biceps my guy. Simply put, shortys seriously dig the beard.

 

 

Let’s put it this way, the way you check out and crush that broad that has a rack for days and an ass like the moon is exactly the same way a woman feels when she sees a man with that perfect beard. Do you get it now? The beard to her is what a boob is to you bruv, believe that. To some, it’s almost like kryptonite even. A trait they simply can’t resist. Anyway, let’s take a quick look at why the beard gang folk is so sort after.

 

 

THE ULTIMATE PORTRAYAL OF MASCULINITY

Nothing says ‘Man’ like a fully-fledged beard. The bigger it is, the manlier you instantly become.  You just imagine how King Leonidas in 300 would look without that glorious beard. That iconic roar of “THIS IS SPARTA!” would’ve not been the same. He probably wouldn’t have even become King of Sparta without it. The beard is basically the definition of strength and toughness, or at least that’s what most people think. It just gives off that alpha vibe and ladies can’t get enough of that shit.

 

 

THE ILLUSION OF MATURITY

We say illusion because having a beard doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a mature guy. However, when chicks see that thing on your face, they don’t care. You become as mature as it gets in their eyes. That is until you open your mouth of course. When that time comes, you’ll be forced to back that beard a bit. But truth is, women will overlook that man without the beard to the man that does a majority of the time, even though that guy is as mature as a mango in season.

via GIPHY

 

ITS SEXUAL APPEAL

To most girls, dudes with a beard just seem like a good lay, you dig? It’s practically an instant reaction these days. They’ll both feel and think this way before they’ve even talked to the guy, let alone tasting his big meat itself. That hair on your chin just attracts them in a sexual way as well as also greatly enhancing your facial features. It makes your chin look broader and your smile more rugged. Basically, in their eyes, you almost look like a superhero my guy. All you’ll be missing is a cape and spandex.

 

 

STYLE STATEMENT

If you got to watch the Oscars or Grammys in recent years, you may have noticed quite a number of men rocking beards on the red carpet. This is because having a well-kept beard has become a style statement. The beard gang is deep in Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood and all of showbiz in general. Most style icons have tried it out at least once. It’s trending mad, don’t get left behind. That usually sucks.

 

 

We know not everyone can grow a beard, but if you can, young one, grow it now. There’s no better time for the beard gang. The bottom line is that with it, you’ll look ten times hotter bruv, no lie. Just ask that girl who’s friendzoned you, of which by the way, once you grow it, watch that friendzone start being a thing of the past. Ditch that razor, get some beard oil and let the beard games begin.